As promised in my last blog, I am here to talk about feeling negative feelings.
So if life is not all happy…..at times we WILL feel negative feelings. This is normal.
However, most of us don’t like to feel negative feelings because they are uncomfortable. We buffer with food. We avoid. We ignore.
Feeling all our feelings is self-love. Our feelings helps us to identify what is going on inside of us emotionally. Feelings are our body’s way to communicate how we are experiencing our external and internal world.
Before I walk you through how to feel a feeling, let’s learn what a feeling is. I am here to tell you a feeling is JUST a vibration in the body from a thought we think. This is all a feeling is! Feelings are a physical response to a thought you have. Feelings are what gives up the ability to experience the joys and sorrows that life and all its ups and downs bring to us. They also help us to develop and navigate our way through relationships and identify our responses to events.
We are not taught in school how to feel negative feelings. Often times we have been taught that negative feelings are bad or make us bad. So we end up learning to ignore them.
Results of suppressed and denied feelings:
Anxiousness, agitation and sadness
Problems with anger, aggression and explosive behaviors
Struggles with eating disorders, and addiction
Poor communication
Feelings of low self-esteem, shame, guilt, and low self-worth
Walking through feeling a feeling is actually much easier than what most people think.
I do want to say the goal with feelings is not to be happy all the time. The goal is to experience ALL of life…both the positive and the negative.
When you feel a feeling you want to drop into your body and ask these questions:
What are you feeling right now? Name the feeling. When you name the feeling, use one word. Most of us know the most common feelings and it’s opposite, for example: Happy/Sad. The more vocabulary you have with feelings the easier it will be to identify and feel the feeling. So building a large repertoire of words to describe and name the feeling is a positive thing.
Where is the feeling located in your body? For me when I am feeling anxiety it is in my upper chest and upper back areas. How does your head feel? Your jaw? Your chest? Your upper back? Your heartbeat? How is your breathing?? Are you hot or cold? Arms? Legs? This is called doing a body scan when you go from head to toe.
What color is the feeling? Yes, don’t laugh…..feelings have color. What color do you first think of when I say the feeling “love”?
How does the feeling may you want to react? This is good to know so you can start to see and learn any patterns that might exist.
In general, what are your top 3 most common feelings? This is good to know. This is getting in tune with who you are and taking exquisite care of yourself.
Like I said before, feelings are just vibrations in your body that’s generated from a thought.
Remember feelings are not right or wrong. They just are. They are real. They are legitimate. Acknowledge your feelings and allow them to surface and be experienced.
When you start to become more conscious of your feelings, you will spend much more time observing yourself. Allowing a feeling is a skill you can learn with practice. Feelings are part of the human experience. So start giving yourself the gift of feeing your feelings….all of them!!!
Hugs,
Coach Kammy
PS: Check out the rest my website and sign up for a Discovery Call. I am currently accepting 1:1 coaching clients. ♥️
https://www.warriorkcoachingllc.com/
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